You Run, Instead
by me malum
Summary: Cloud is a selfish coward. Leon calls him on it. No pairings.


My take on a somewhat cliche. I have no excuse for this. I also have no idea how, if at all, canonically correct it is- I just think these characters fit the point that's trying to be made, so the scene was created around it.

Assume it's immediately post KH1.

**Disclaimer**- I _wish_.

No pairings, just oneshot drama. No real warnings, either. Maybe mild language, but that's fairly standard for me.

Enjoi.

* * *

"Leaving already?"

Leon caught Cloud on the outskirts of Radiant Garden, just before the blond could disappear into the darkness of the wastelands.

Cloud stopped, but he did not turn. "He's never gone," the blond said softly. "I defeat him again and again; sometimes I even think he's properly dead... but Sephiroth's never completely gone, Leon. He comes back, and I can't ask the others to keep putting their lives in danger for me." Piece said, he squared his shoulders and took another step.

"Coward."

The word was barely whispered, but Leon may as well have shouted for the impact it had. Cloud spun on his heel and put a hand to the hilt of his sword. "Excuse me?" he hissed, grip tightening on the weapon.

"You heard." Leon's posture was completely relaxed. His gunblade was resting on his hip and his arms were crossed, nowhere near the handle. His eyes, however, were unfriendly, the only thing matching the tone of his voice. "You are a coward, Cloud Strife, and a selfish one at that."

Cloud snorted, releasing his sword and shifting his weight to one hip. "Really? I want to keep them safe, and it makes me a selfish coward?" His expression had an edge of hostility beneath the amused disbelief.

"It does."

The short answers were riling Cloud even more, and he slowly retook the steps separating himself and the brunet, speaking in time with his footfalls. "What is cowardly about facing an enemy you aren't even sure yourself if you can defeat; what is selfish about trying to keep those dear to you alive?"

Leon didn't shift. There was barely a foot between them now. He appraised the shorter man coolly, and his frown eloquently stated what words would not: that he found Cloud lacking, and exceedingly so.

"You've implied more than once that Sephiroth comes back for _you_, no one else. It stands to reason that he could have killed you more than once, but _hasn't_. He's a safe rock for you to hurl yourself upon because he'll hurt you more than nearly anything else you've ever known. He'll use you if he can, abuse you if he can't, and he'll _leave you alive at the end of it so he can do it all again_. And selfish coward that you are, you'll go back for more because you think you deserve it. You're scared to admit that you might be wrong, what it might mean for all the wasted years of your life." Quick as a striking cobra, Leon's arms came up and shoved the blond back. "You're scared because if you admit that, you start wondering why you can't deliver a final, killing blow. Is Sephiroth truly all-powerful or are you too attached to the fact of him that you can't imagine a world without him?"

Cloud was staring up at Leon with a mute horror normally seen in fallen enemies seconds before he killed them. Leon ignored it with the ease of a man who rarely cared for what others assumed him to be.

"And none of this has to be true, Strife. You're a coward because you can't even let yourself contemplate these ideas and either disprove them, or do something about them. You're _terrified_ to do anything except act out the same existence that's kept you going for so many years already." Leon was being deliberately cruel, because god knew nothing else seemed to have an effect on the other man.

And sure enough, Cloud took a deep, steadying breath and finally replied. "And selfish?" His voice was soft, meek.

Leon gave the blond what he wanted because from a different source, he wondered if it would start to sink in.

"You say you stay away because you care about them. I know you care about them Strife; they know you care about them, and _Sephiroth_ knows you care about them. And you know that he would use them against you in a heartbeat if he ever had the opportunity. Your distant protection isn't worth the air they breathe."

Cloud winced, but gamely locked eyes with Leon. "That can't be all." His voice had lost the meekness, but still lacked anything approaching understanding the point Leon was trying to make.

"It isn't." He waited for the impatient huff, the shifting annoyance, the flicker of emotion that was becoming shame and remorse.

"Well?" It burst out like Cloud had tried to restrain himself, and failed miserably.

Leon shook his head and turned away himself. This was almost too painful to be said. He spoke his words to the empty night because he couldn't bear to see the effect they had on the other man. Or worse, he couldn't bear to see that there was no effect at all.

"You are a selfish coward, Cloud Strife, because you run. You run away to fight distant battles that have no bearing on their safety. You run back to protect them the moment you think they're in danger because you're human, and you _care_. But then you run the moment the fight's over because you can't bear to live with them. You can't bear to wake up every morning and see in their eyes how sad they are for you, simply because you're too scared to change. You hurt them by staying away, you'd hurt them more by staying _here_ and you're a selfish bastard because you run to make it easier for yourself to live with that."

"I'm doing my best!" Cloud shouted back, voice echoing in the quiet darkness. "I- I can't do anything else at the moment. They know I care, that I'd die for them in a heartbeat if I needed to-"

Leon spun and slapped him. The smack left a red handprint barely visible in the poor lighting.

"You are a selfish bastard, Cloud Strife," he repeated, voice deadly even. "And you are a fool. Because if you think that Tifa, or Aerith, or anyone here would gladly see you die for us, you are blinder than I thought."

Cloud cradled his slapped cheek in his hand, but didn't try to interrupt. Leon was intent and fury, and he was struck still.

"They don't want to know you care enough to die for them. They want to know you care enough to _live_ for them, instead."

The brunet gave him one last, furious glare.

"And you are a coward, Cloud Strife, because that is the one thing you'll never do."

He left on the last word, disappearing back into the bright lights of Radiant Garden. Cloud watched him go, shamed and more than a little broken.

But he _(was a selfish bastard; a coward and a fool)_ turned away from those lights and walked into the darkness instead.


End file.
